Maiden in Men's Clothing
by ItalianLifestyle
Summary: Madeline  fem!Canada  is determined to become a theater major, against her father's wishes, so they strike up a deal which leads to her dressing as a male and attending an all boys' school. WARNING: SLOW UPDATES
1. Prologue

**Author's Note:** The idea for this story actually came from a manga I had read and, most unfortunately, never finished. I don't remember the name of it, and I'm not exactly following their plot, which is why this isn't a cross-over. But, I do hope you enjoy, and I hope that I can do plenty of regular updates! Also, the rating is for possible things in later chapters, not for this chapter at all.

**Title:** Maiden in Men's Clothing

**Characters:** Pretty much everyone will be in this, though Canada is the only female. Everyone else are males.

"Madeline Williams, this is the last, the absolute _last_ time we are having this discussion!" her father nearly shouted. "You are not going into that artsy fartsy college. You're going to business school and getting your degree so that you can take over the family business."

"But—" she began, only to be cut off.

"No buts about it. This decision is final."

Madeline hung her head. She had wanted to become an actress for all her life, and in all the time that she had wanted to be an actress, she had been put down by her father, who told her that she was going to become a business major in college.

"Off you go," he insisted, looking back down at his paperwork, sure that she would meekly walk out of the room like she had done at the end of all of their past arguments.

"Wait." Madeline lifted her head, determination in her eyes. "Before this discussion is closed for good, how about we make a deal?" Her father was a gamboling man, and he was always more interested when there was something more than just 'this is what's going to happen'.

"What kind of deal?" her father asked, leaning forward, eyes glinting in interest.

"I go to theater school," she said, holding up her hand when she noticed that he was about to interrupt her. "If I do well, and keep my grades up, you stop pestering me about business school. If I do not, I go off to school, just like you want, get my degree and take over the business with no more complaints."

"I have a better idea," her father replied. "You will go to business school. An all boys business school. This will be the ultimate acting experience for you, as you will be acting 24/7. You will dress and act like a boy, and in everyone's eyes, that's what you will be. If anyone, and I do mean _anyone,_ finds out your true gender, you lose. And just like you said, you will bend to my will and take over the business. That's my final offer. Deal?"

Madeline swallowed. "But... I would be sharing a dorm with guys. How would I hide it from them?"

"I will ensure that your living quarters are satisfactory to a point that so long as you are careful, no one will be any wiser as to your true identity."

After pondering the thought for a moment, Madeline nodded. "From now on, I am Matthew Williams, business major." _I'll prove you wrong, _she added silently in her head.

~~~  
>In order to prepare for her new role as a male, Madeline had some shopping to do. Her father lent her his credit card and sent her off with the chauffeur. First stop: a new hair cut.<p>

"Are you sure this is what you want, honey?" the stylist asked for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Oui," she replied simply. Of course, she wasn't sure at all. She loved her long hair. She loved the way it tickled her back when she was naked and how she could style it in any way that she wanted. And the cut she had chosen was so short and boyish. It was... definitely going to take some getting used to.

After a moment's hesitation, the stylist went to it, cutting off her long pigtails and setting them aside to be donated. Then, she set to work, expertly trimming her hair until it was short. So short...

Taking a deep breath, Madeline looked in the mirror one last time before paying and heading off to do the rest of her shopping. She would need more masculine clothes, manly soap, a binder and the like. She had thought of everything down to the crossing of the t, determined to choose her own life course.


	2. Move in Day

**Author's Note:** I got so much positive feedback on that last chapter that I decided that I would post the next one right away! I hope you enjoy. And if anyone knows the name of that manga, would you please let me know?

It was move in day. Madeline, or as she would now be called, Matthew, was nervous as hell. Her father dropped her off along with all of her stuff and left her to go find her dorm and check in with the heavy bags. Heaving a sigh, she hefted her bags up and began walked, ignoring all of the excited Freshmen mulling about, their parents clingy and unwilling to let their babies leave the nest. Past the crying mothers, the excited students, the indifferent seeming fathers. Past the future chemists, doctors, rocket scientists, teachers, international relations specialists and the like, she continued. As she was passing the jocks is when she got her first acting quiz.

"Hey, watch out!" one of the guys called as a football soared through the air and hit her right in the crotch.

The blow made her stumble and fall over and it was then that she remembered that she was supposed to have a dick. Groaning, she curled up, placing her hands over where the ball hit. "What the hell, dude?" she asked breathlessly, managing to sound in quite a bit of pain.

"Oh shit, oh shit. I'm so sorry, man. I said look out. Didn't you hear me? Does it hurt?" the guy who had shouted rambled on, coming up to her side.

"_What do you think?"_ she hissed through clenched teeth.

"Well... er..." the guy looked awkward and like he felt bad for the whole ordeal. "This may not make up for it, but why don't I carry your things to your dorm for you?"

"I don't even know where it is," she mumbled, slowly easing herself into a sitting position.

"That's okay. This is my second year here. I know where just about everything is. What place are you living in?"

She quickly rattled off the living center and room number.

He whistled when she was done. "Rich parents, huh?" he grinned. "That's where all the rich kids live because there's more privacy. Plus, you don't have to share a bathroom with the whole floor."

"Oh..." she said dumbly.

"C'mon. I know where it is." He offered his hand and she took it, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. Once she was stable, he picked up her bags and started walking in the direction she had come from. "You probably walked right past the dorm, you know." He looked like he wanted to laugh, but stopped when he noticed the pathetic look on her face. "Hey, cheer up. My first day, I walked past my classroom six times as well as sitting in the wrong class for almost an hour before realizing that I was in the wrong one."

She managed a weak laugh, limping along and pretending to still be in pain.

"I'm Alfred, by the way," he informed her.

"Matthew," she replied, keeping her eyes trained on the ground in front of her.

"Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." She would have to stop being so shy if this little acting experiment was to work.

The two of them continued walking in silence and Alfred helped her get settled before running off to meet back up with his football buddies.

~~~

Madeline was dozing lightly, exhausted from having put all of her stuff away. She labeled her food and her cupboards as her own so that her roommate would know not to go into them as the stuff within belonged to her. She heard the door open and a loud voice laughing obnoxiously, so she made her way out to the main room (which was a little kitchenette with just enough room off to the side for a sofa and a television) to see what all the ruckus was about. There were two guys bringing in bags from the cart that the university lent out for students to move their stuff in more quickly. She was confused at first because she thought that she was only sharing the room with one other guy, and then she realized that the other must be helping her roommate move in.

Both of the boys were blond—one was so blond that his hair was nearly white. The taller one, who had the more golden blond hair, was extremely muscular with sharp ice blue eyes, and a well defined bone structure in his face. The other had a pretty similar bone structure, which led Madeline to think that they were brothers. This boy, however, was much different. He still had a great build and no doubt a nice body beneath his clothes (not that she was thinking about that), but was slighter than his brother. His eyes were a brilliant red. Were they natural or contacts? She couldn't tell. But it was from him that the laugh that had startled her awake had come.

"Which one of you is Ludwig?" she asked, her voice soft but more masculine than how she would normally speak. Of course, that would become her normal voice now that she was supposed to be a boy.

"Me," said the more muscular one.

"I'm Matthew, your roommate."

He nodded. "I figured as much. This is my annoying brother, Gilbert. I'm sorry to make you put up with him, but he doesn't have any friends.

Gilbert scoffed. "Little brother, you're the one with no friends. I've got Francis and Antonio."

"Well, nice to meet you," Madeline mumbled, retreating to her room as the brothers began to argue.

She wasn't sure if she wanted the silver-blond Gilbert around or not. Something drew her to him and at the same time, something else pushed her away.

Ignoring her strange thoughts, Madeline pulled out her laptop and began looking up the homework for her first classes, even though they weren't supposed to start for another week.


	3. Classes Begin

The first day of classes began and Madeline was extremely nervous. She did her best not to doubt her abilities as an actress, trying to reassure herself that she could play the part and play it well. Even so, there was still that hint of doubt that she would screw up and that's what had her fidgeting nervously and biting at her nails.

It seemed as though every class had them introducing themselves in some way or another. The only class that she actually learned something in on her first day was math. Most of her teachers went over their syllabuses, and all of the classes seemed so dry and boring. It made Madeline happy that she at least was able to sneak one acting class in, saying that it was in there because she needed it for her gen. eds.

"Hey, Mattie!" a voice called across the room as she walked into her theater class. Alfred was standing up at the back of the room, waving his hands frantically at her to get her attention.

While she didn't want to draw _that_ much attention to herself, she figured that it would be rude to just ignore Alfred, especially since he seemed so happy to see her. So she made her way back to him, wondering what he wanted.

"This is the guy who I left the field for," Alfred informed his buddies, slinging an arm around Madeline's shoulders. "I had to make sure that he was okay because he was hit in the 'nads, after all."

Madeline blushed at Alfred's crassness, gently removing his arm from around her shoulders. "Yes, well, I'm perfectly fine now, thank you very much," she said, trying not to be too curt.

"Glad to see that. Hey, would you—"

Alfred was cut off as the teacher walked in and once again, the getting to know one another games begun. Though, this teacher had a much more eccentric way of going about things, which definitely did help to break up the mundane day.

~~~  
>Madeline was happy that she had been able to skip the physical education part of the general education process. If not, she would have had to find a way to not have to use the communal showers with the other guys, and there was no way that she would have been able to join a swim class, even though she loved the water. She had no idea when the next time she would get a chance to swim would be, seeing as how there were constantly guys in the water when the pool was open.<p>

What brought her to think about the woes of not being able to swim was that Ludwig walked into their shared living space with swim trunks on and a towel draped over his shoulders.

"Mein bruder and I are going swimming, and he insisted that I invite my 'lovely roommate,'" Ludwig informed her, standing stiffly and looking uncomfortable with using his brother's terminology.

"There's no way he actually said that," Madeline said, shocked at being referred to as such.

Ludwig blushed. "That's what he said. If you don't like it, you can take it up with him, not me."

"R-right. The whole 'don't kill the messenger' thing, right?" Madeline smiled awkwardly. Her roommate and her hadn't talked much at all in the first week, every time they had done so, they had both just felt awkward, not really being social butterflies or anything.

"Well, anyway," Ludwig said, not looking at her as he spoke, "do you want to come or not?"

"I think I'll pass. I've actually got a rather lengthy math assignment to do. Thank you for the offer, though, and send my apologies to your brother."

"You're not big on sports, are you?" Ludwig guessed.

"Well, I am more of just a hockey person. Maybe we can get together teams and play went winter hits," she suggested, crossing her legs on the couch and resting her thick math text book in her lap, doing her best to ignore the disapproving look that Ludwig gave her for putting her feet on the furniture—it wasn't like they were dirty, after all!

"I will pass this on to Gilbert. Do not blame me if he comes rushing back and tries to drag you to the pool."

"It's okay. I am pretty good at resisting persuasion," she said, tucking the pencil behind her ear, worried about losing it.

"I wasn't worried about persuasion. He might literally drag you to the pool." For some reason Ludwig couldn't place, he felt a bit protective over his roommate, like he could sense that the boy was more delicate than he let on.

"Just tell him that I'm studying in the library and then going to lunch with some friends. He won't be able to drag me anywhere if he can't find me." She smiled at him, touched by his concern.

He nodded and left the dorm. Gilbert, try as he might, never figured out where she was that day, wanting to do as his brother said and literally drag her to the pool.

~~~  
>Try as she might, Madeline couldn't stay holed up in her little dorm forever. She had to do things like going to class and using her meal plan so that she didn't stave and going shopping for both food and school supplies. So, of course, she was bound to run into others at some point or another.<p>

Every time she saw Alfred, he tried to get her to come and hang with her buddies. She always came up with some excuse or another. Usually, she actually was busy, so it was truth. Why she wanted to avoid him so bad, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was because he hit her with the football the first day or maybe it was just because of her social awkwardness.

Gilbert, on the other hand, she avoided like the plague. Luckily enough for her, she was always first to spot him and was therefore able to duck behind something and wait for him to pass. It was much easier than letting the strange boy actually talk to her. It was more so that she wouldn't have to worry about hurting his feelings than anything because she knew how obnoxious that he had been the first time that they had met and would rather just avoid hurting anyone's feelings.

It was on one of her outings to the grocery store that she met Francis Bonnefoy.


	4. Date

**Author's Note:** I've been informed that the manga that I got the idea for this story off of is called W Juliet.

"You must be Matthew," the Frenchman said, walking up to her, taking her hand and kissing it.

She blushed. "H-how do you know my name?"

"Gilbert speaks of le garçon attractif that he saw in his brother's room on move in day, but whom he hasn't been able to see since then, no matter how hard he tries! You are a difficult one, mon cher."

"I-I don't mean to be," she stuttered.

Francis chuckled. "No need to apologize. Just go on a date with me to make up for it."

She spluttered, unsure of what to say to such forwardness, and to the fact that she had done nothing to warrant needing to make it up to him. "I, well... uh... you see... it's just..."

"Bon!" the man exclaimed. "I will see you tomorrow night at 6:30. I will be in the Commons waiting." His voice was practically a song the way that he was saying his words. Once more, he kissed Madeline's hand before flouncing off, a triumphant grin on his face.

~~~  
>When Madeline returned from the store with her groceries, still a little bit dazed and unsure of what had happened with the French student, she set her purchases down with a sigh.<p>

A moment later, Ludwig walked out and immediately demanded, "Is it true?"

"Is what true?" Madeline squeaked in surprise, her voice definitely higher than any man's should ever be able to reach.

"You have a date with Francis?"

"Oh, uhm... I... I don't really know... He just kind of came up to me and..." she made vague motions with her hands, not really sure how to put what had happened into words.

"If you're worried that I'll hate you because your gay, stop fretting. Half the school population is gay and a majority of the rest are experimenting because there are no females within this school's huge campus or a few miles radius around it. Well... no females except those that are in pictures." Ludwig's face reddened a bit that he had even dared to say such a thing.

"No, it's just... well..." Madeline's voice was finally back to her normal—well, what everyone else knew as normal—decibel as she continued to speak. "I went to the store and he came up to me and started talking and then said I owed him a date. I was too flustered to say anything before he walked off, and I don't really want to go on the date, but I have no way to get into contact with him to break it off and even if I did, I don't think I would have enough guts to do it and—" all of the words were coming out in a barely comprehensible rush until Ludwig held up a hand to silence her.

"I just wanted to know if it was true."

"I guess," Madeline mumbled, scuffing her foot on the ground, cheeks flaming. "But I don't really want to go..."  
>"Do you want me to tell him for you? Because you really should not let people take advantage of you."<p>

"N-no. I'll do it myself. Don't worry." She smiled meekly at him.

"Uh... ja, well, if you ever need someone intimidating, I'm your man, ja?" Ludwig was making an attempt at camaraderie with his roommate, thinking that maybe they could make things slightly less awkward.

"Yes, of course," she replied, giving him another smile before returning to putting her purchases away, careful to make sure that he doesn't see any of the feminine products that she had to buy. After all, just because she made herself look like a boy didn't mean that her feminine problems went away.

~~~  
>The time came for Madeline to meet up with Francis. She made her way down to the specified place, five minutes early so as not to be rude and leave the man waiting, only to find him waiting there for her already.<p>

"Matthieu!" Francis called in his most French accent. "You're early!"

"L-look, Francis," Madeline began, trying her best to be forward and get out what she had to say before he could make her too embarrassed to say another word. "I-I don't want to date you a-and I don't think that it's fair to your f-friend, who liked me f-first. Isn't that against the b-bro code?"

"It's not against the bro code because he did the same to me during the middle of the summer," Francis huffed, averting his eyes. Actually, that wasn't Gilbert's fault. Francis wanted to seem shy, so he had Gilbert ask the girl out for him, but she misunderstood, and so Francis gave permission to go out with her instead.

"W-well, still..." Madeline didn't know what to say. Her mind was going blank with the nerves that were making her slightly jittery.  
>"Cheri, why don't we go get some food in you~" Francis said, noting the slight shaking. Before Madeline could agree or disagree, she was being dragged to the cafeteria and Francis was grabbing them both food, paying for it and getting a table.<p>

"Th-this really isn't necessary," Madeline informed him as her chair was pulled out for her and she couldn't do anything else other than just take a seat.

"Of course it is. I want to make a good impression on you," Francis said, pushing her in and taking the seat across from her.

After an awkward moment, they began to eat, but Madeline quickly lost her appetite because Francis kept making comments about just how _lewdly_ she ate. The whole conversation was one sided. He talked about how beautiful he is and how much he loves Paris, while she sat there in silence, wondering what the easiest way to get out of this would be.

"Cheri, why don't we got back to your room?" Francis suggested suddenly.

"N-no thank you," Madeline said, shocked. She was afraid that Francis might try something. "I-I think I'm going to go to the library instead. With that, she stood and practically bolted from the room, only to later feel guilty about leaving all of her trash on the table.


	5. Drama Assignment

**Author's Note:** Guys, I apologize. I've gotten caught up in school work, especially with finals coming up. I don't know how often I will be able to post, especially since I have work as well. And I'll be working throughout winter break. Whenever I have free time I haven't felt like writing either. Sorry.

Madeline was doing well avoiding Francis the next few days. She had told Ludwig that she may end up needing his help, if Francis kept up his advances, and Ludwig agreed to help, if she needed it. So, since they had each other's number in case they got locked out of the room (not that either of them would be that irresponsible). So, her mind was set at peace, at least a little bit.

She was sitting in her theater class, listening to the lecture on staying in character no matter what. Not that she needed any help with this, considering the predicament that she was already in. They were to have an assignment on this as well, that they would be getting at the end of class, and that they would be raiding the drama closet in order to properly fulfill.

"Alright, class," the teacher said, as there was only ten minutes left of class. "Are you ready for your assignment?"

The class responded in the affirmative and their teacher grinned. The assignment? They would each be dressing up as the character that the teacher had decided and walking around the school in the outfit that went with it. There would be a paper to go along with it, to document their time in character, assuming the role of someone else and filling their shoes.

The characters ranged from a variety of things. One boy was a cowboy, and he was even giving a 'horse' (one of those little horse heads on a stick) and told that he needed to gallop everywhere he went, thereby 'riding' the horse. Another boy was a magician who was to go around 'cursing' and reciting spells at people. There was also a matador, a vampire, a man from Shakespearean times, a monk, a prince and many others. Madeline got... a schoolgirl. This wouldn't be the slightest bit of a challenge and she was disappointed.

"Professor?" she asked.

"No, Matthew. You cannot get me to change my mind."

"But no one else has to be a girl! It's not fair!"

"Life's not fair," she said, handing Madeline a suit with fake breasts and a uniform with an all-too-short skirt. Then, she addressed the rest of the class, "Unless you have some sort of gym class or sport where you need to change out of these clothes, I don't want to catch you out of them or acting like your normal selves, or else you fail. Is that clear?"

Once again, she was answered in the affirmative.

Everyone went to change into their outfits, Madeline having to put the fake boobs on over her binding because there wasn't a doubt in her mind that the costume would be subjected to boys' hands.

As uncomfortable as the boob suit was, and how much she wished the skirt was longer, it was nice to have the wig that made her hair look longer. She even styled it into pigtails and smiled at her reflection, and then walked out to where the majority of the others were changing.

"Oh, shit guys! Girl alert!" Alfred exclaimed, before laughing obnoxiously, being joined by the others in the room.

"Alfred, your chaps are on backwards," Madeline informed him, and the laughing switched to being pointed at him.

"It's not funny. Anyone could make the mistake," he mumbled as a reply.

"I wouldn't expect a 'real cowboy' to make that mistake," she replied easily.

"Yeah, well, you have boobs!" Alfred exclaimed childishly, sticking out his tongue.

Madeline raised an eyebrow. "That's the best you can do?"

"N-no."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Yes, that's the best you can do?"

"No, now shut up!"

Alfred had gone red in the face, so Madeline decided to leave the poor guy alone. "Whatever you say, Al," she said, laughing softly and turning to leave the room.

"Nice ass~" the monk said as she turned.

Immediately, Madeline pulled the skirt down lower. "You're out of character!" she said in a high pitched voice, face redder than Alfred's had gotten, and then ran out of the room.

~~~  
>As Madeline walked the halls of the school, she could feel eyes following her. Nobody looked at the others as much as they looked at her and it was making her really nervous. She would walk as quickly as she could through the halls, trying to stay in more populated areas, even though she didn't like all the stares. It just... made her nervous.<p>

At one point, she got a little spooked by someone and started running into the hall, only to literally run into someone much larger than her, only to fall back on her ass as the other person stood resolutely in that spot, looking down at her in surprise.

"You should really watch where you're going, da?" the giant asked in a thick accent, reaching down a hand to help her up. His long trench coat made Madeline think that maybe he was in a drama class too, but she certainly didn't remember seeing her, and she hadn't seen anyone from the other classes dressed up.

"Y-yeah, sorry, eh," she said nervously, taking his hand and getting to her feet. Immediately, she corrected her skirt so that it covered her better.

"I'm Ivan," the large man said, looking her up and down. "And you are at the wrong school, are you not?"

"No, I go here. I'm Matthew and this," she motioned to her body, "is an assignment for drama class."

"It suits you," he simply said, starting to unbutton his coat.

Crap. That was not a good sign. Madeline tried to back up imperceptibly to give herself an easier escape route. She was not about to let this man do anything to her, or ruin her future.

"Here," he said, holding out the coat to her. "Cover up. Everyone is staring."

Hesitantly, she took it. "I don't think I'm supposed to..."  
>"You can take it off in class. I see bad intent in their eyes." He glanced around, looking at the emptying hallway.<p>

Madeline hesitated a moment longer before putting it on. The thing drowned her, draping down her body to the floor. You could barely tell that she had 'boobs' any longer. She justified the wearing of it in two ways. The first was her own safety, and the second was that it was practically a dress.

"Thank you," she said, looking back up to where Ivan had been a moment ago, only to find him no longer standing there. She looked around and didn't see him anywhere. And again, she started to feel nervous. As quickly as she could, she made her way to her next class, wondering how she would find Ivan again to give him back his coat.


	6. Intriguing Boys

**Author's Note: **Whelp, I decided to spend my time with my gf and feeling depressed over coming out to some of my family, so I haven't written in awhile. I hope this is still coherent...

Madeline had been walking around in her 'other persona' for a few days now, the huge coat over it, drowning her in fabric. She was immensely grateful to its owner for it because as well as keeping people from staring so much, it also kept her warm. Still, she couldn't help but to wish that she could give it back. Her mind lost in thought, she barely even noticed as Gilbert came up beside her, and probably would have continued to be completely unaware of his presence had he not waved his hand in her face. Blinking, she turned to him.

"Mattie, anyone home?" Gilbert asked with a laugh that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Yes, Gilbert," Madeline replied with a sigh. He got on her nerves so easily.

"What are you doing with Braginski's coat? You dating or something?" His voice was really grating on her nerves today.

"He gave it to cover myself," she said, pulling the coat open to show her fake boobs.

Gilbert let off a whistle. "Can I touch them?" He was grinning from ear to ear, obviously amused with himself.

"You violate me, I'll... I'll..." Madeline trailed off, thinking about what she would do when her eyes came across an art student's ruler. "I'll violate you with that ruler!" Her voice didn't even shake in the slightest, and she even managed to sound confident!

Gilbert's face fell into a mask of worried frown lines and he seemed to be thinking. "Look," he said after a moment. "We started this conversation off on the wrong foot. I just... I'm worried about you. Braginski's not a nice guy, and he might be using that coat as a manipulation technique. People that associate themselves with him often end up in a bad place."

"I think I can handle myself," she said, her voice stiff and not showing how frightened she was at the thought.

"I'm telling you this for your own good. You can ask some of the kids around like... Raivis or Toris. They know a lot about him. Just... _please_ give him back his coat. For me."

For him? What had he ever done to make her want to do him a favor? "I'll think about it," she finally responded.

"Thank you," he said, before going to join his friends.

"Should I give it back...?" she wondered aloud, completely unsure of what to do now. Well, first thing is first. She would seek out... what were their names again? Toris and Raivis? Well, at any rate, she would find these boys and have them tell her just how 'dangerous' Ivan really was.

~~~  
>"Do you know where I can find Toris?" Madeline asked for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past hour. She had spent nearly her entire lunch break searching for this boy who could give her answers, and was nearly ready to give up.<p>

The long haired brunet boy whom she had asked turned to her. "I'm Toris," he said, looking up at her from his spot at the booth, across from a really young looking boy who kept shaking and taking gulps from a rather suspicious looking bottle.

"Oh, thank goodness. Can I sit down?"

After eyeing her warily for a moment, eyes sweeping over the coat she wore, he slowly nodded.

After taking a seat next to the smaller boy, she began to speak. "I was told that I should ask you and someone named... umm... Raivis... about Ivan. I was told that he was bad news and you two know that better than anyone?" Her voice turned up at the end of the sentence, turning it into a question.

"You don't wanna know about him, missy," the small one next to her said.

She jumped, having not expected to speak. "Wh-why not?" she asked, suddenly more nervous than before.

"He's not a good guy." The boy, Raivis, she assumed, had stopped shaking, his voice getting dark as he spoke.

"Yeah," Toris agreed. "Raivis is right." That confirmed her suspicion on the boy. "He... well, let's say this is not my fault." Toris held out his arm and pushed up his sleeve, revealing a number of small, circular burns.

Madeline couldn't stop herself from gasping. "Wh-what did that?" she asked in horror.

"Cigarettes put out on my bare skin. That's not the worst of it, though." Suddenly, Toris looked scared. "N-not that Ivan would ever harm a fly. He's th-the nicest, sweetest guy you'll e-ever meet. Right, Raivis?"

Raivis just shrunk down in his seat, refusing to say more.

Twisting in her seat, Madeline saw what had the boys have a sudden change of heart. Ivan was a few feet away, smiling at them. "Well... excuse me, then, gentlemen," she said, getting to her feet. She walked bravely up to Ivan.

"Hello, Matthew," he said with a grin. "It is nice to be seeing you again. And covered, away from the predatory gazes of the lustful men here."

"Th-that sure was a poetic line you used, I-Ivan," she managed to say, even adding a smile.

"Da! I have just come from the creative writing!" He looked so proud of himself.

"W-well, I was told that if I found those two, then I would be able to find you. They were so sweet." She didn't want to know what he would do to them if she hadn't made sure to let him know that they were good to you.

"Oh? Why did you want me?" he asked, genuinely curious, his face full of hope.

"I w-wanted to return your jacket. I d-don't want to ruin it by having it drag around any longer. I've got my own now."

"Da?" Ivan's face fell, and she wasn't sure why she found that there was something sinister behind that sad facade.

"I think you could use it. It's getting colder out." She shrugged the jacket off her shoulders and held it out to Ivan.

It took a moment before he reached out to grab it, glancing over her body. "You cover up now, da?"

"Of course I will. W-well, I've got to get to class, see you!" With that, she took the opportunity to escape the bone-chilling aura that seemed to surround Ivan, especially as he headed toward the table with Raivis and Toris. The next time she saw those boys, one was limping while the other seemed to have difficulty only breathing. At this point was when she decided that Gilbert had her best interest at heart, even if he was annoying.


	7. Assignment Overview

Madeline was ecstatic when she was finally allowed to dress in men's clothing again. It was getting harder and harder to convince herself that she was still playing a part, and it got more annoying and uncomfortable to fend off the stares that others gave her. All the students in her class were required to write a paper on their experiences during the time they were in costume and in character. She wrote about how at first everyone just took it as a joke, but then slowly got into it, accepting that she was indeed the character she pretended to be. She continued to say how different it was when she wore Ivan's coat and when she was without it and all the harassment she had received about wearing a skirt. It was quite the interesting experience to say the least. During the class that the paper was due, they were all to have a discussion about how this little experiment went for them.

"So, how did it go?" the teacher asked, smiling as she began to put all the costumes into a package that would be taken to be cleaned.

"I think I was a horrible monk!" one boy said, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh? And why do you think that is?"

"I couldn't stay out of other peoples' beds." To that, the entire class burst into laughter.

"Who would want you?" one boy called out.

"Me~" another boy replied in jest. Again, the class broke out laughing.

"Alright, alright. Calm down. Anyone else?"

The boy who had been the matador raised his hand.

"Yes?"

"Well, I hope it's okay that I basically dubbed someone outside of class as another character," he said, a mischievous smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

"That's perfectly okay. Anything to stay in character, Antonio."

The smile extended to the rest of his mouth. "Great! Because, well, I pretended that my boyfriend was a bull. He didn't like it too much, but his personality fit! When he got angry at me for calling him my little bull, he actually charged me! It was like I was a true matador!" A roar filled the room as everyone's amusement burst from them.

"Well, that would be quite amusing, then," the teacher replied, unable to keep back a small laugh.

Antonio grinned, proud that he had elicited such a response from the class and hoping that he was indeed able to pass this assignment, even though he had done a bit of improvisation outside of what was expected of him.

"More, gentlemen! More! I love hearing these experiences!" the teacher egged them on, grinning from ear to ear and clapping her hands. She settled onto the edge of her desk and pointed into the her audience of students. "Alfred, how about you? What was it like to be a cowboy."

"I was a cowboy sheriff," he corrected her. She raised an eyebrow at him, but gestured for him to continue. A sheepish smile on his face he said, "I was the law enforcer of the school!" Quickly, he got into his story, leaning forward, gesturing and clapping his hands for emphasis. "Every time someone did something against the school's code, Sheriff Jones was there to reprimand them!" He held up his fingers like guns, making _bang bang _ noises as he shot them at the whiteboard. "No one was safe. Every wrong doing was punished. And everywhere Sheriff Jones went, his trusty steed took him there." Conspiratorially, he leaned toward the teacher, stage whispering, "Man, did that make the Sheriff tired, though. All that galloping everywhere." Back to his story, he continued animatedly about all the wrongdoers he had locked in jail and how they all feared his authority and that he had made the school crime free. He probably would have continued on a long time had the teacher not stopped and thanked him, letting him know that others need to share as well.

Scanning the crowd, the teacher narrowed her eyes, deciding on the next victim. The prince was next to tell of his lovely adventures, wooing and saving princesses and damsels in distress and having the time of his life. The vampire took an umbrella with him everywhere he went, keeping it up in classes with windows that had sunshine, much to the teachers' distress, and he bit the necks of random people, most of whom would shout at him angrily, a few of whom decided to pretend to be vampires as well. Had they really been vampires, the school would probably be entirely infected by now, as they had bit their friends, who had in turn bit their friends and on and on, to the delight of some and extreme annoyance of others. The guy from Shakespearean times hated his role with every fiber of his being, and was irritated with the language he had to speak in and how he had to avoid most of modern day technology (which was his excuse for not having his paper today. His character would not have been able to type it up. He was going to have points taken off because he could have handwritten it, but he argued that he didn't have the right writing utensils and in the end, he was allowed to turn his paper in late).

When it was the magician's turn to speak, Madeline noted that Alfred stared the whole time with these big, interested doe eyes. They didn't stray for even a moment as they took in the gestures and his ears almost seemed to perk like a dog's in order to hear every syllable snapping perfectly from the boy's mouth. Alfred was infatuated. Madeline knew it at first glance. It amused her to think that this boy had a crush which he wasn't even acting upon! He seemed so outgoing!

Finally, it was Madeline's turn to talk. "Well," she began, "first of all, it's great to be out of that skirt. It was far too breezy for my liking." This earned a few giggles. "But honestly, how do you women go through this?" Her question was directed at the teacher. "The moment the fake breasts were in place, I had people groping them, others smacking my ass, lifting my skirt and otherwise harassing me. It was terrible. The only time that I got any reprieve was when I was wearing Ivan's jacket. It makes me sick to think that the only reason that these animals reined themselves in was because I 'belonged' to someone else. I was someone else's property. The moment I gave his jacket back, I was poked and prodded again, as if I was some rare animal. How does any woman live with this?" Her voice had grown angry, the years of dealing with more toned down incidents of this sort finally getting to her and causing her to explode.

A moment of silence followed before the teacher, her eyes still wide, spoke. "You really got this assignment, Madeline. The woman's perspective, the things some women have to go through—granted, it's probably a lot more concentrated here where there are so few females, but nonetheless, this still happens. I'm awarding you an A for this assignment. Congratulations."

Madeline blushed and shrank down into her seat, trying to disappear. When the class finally ended, she skipped out, wanting to get out and into the fresh air. The room had seemed to be suffocating her once she had gotten that off her mind and all she needed was to walk.

She walked and walked, ignoring everyone she passed, wanting to just take her mind off of that. How could she have allowed herself to explode like that? That could have easily blown her cover and then where would she be? Doing what her father wanted and preparing to take over the family business instead of doing what she truly wanted in life.


	8. Tickets

**A/N:** Experimenting with using a bit more imagery. Let me know what you think.

Slowly, the leaves began to turn to shades of yellow and vibrant oranges before fading to brown and falling from the branches. A chill crept into the air, turning the students' breath to fog as they made their way from building to building, heading for their classes. Layers upon layers were added for warmth as the students tried in vain to keep their warmth inside. It did little against the increasingly harsh winds and made them all look like a bunch of colorful marshmallows waddling about.

Madeline was grateful for the change in weather as it meant that she didn't have to bind nearly as tightly. The lessened pressure on her chest was a relief, even as her cheeks tinted red from being whipped repeatedly by the raging winds and occasional sharp, stinging drops of rain.

Once her drama assignment had concluded, Madeline became nearly invisible. She was often even forgotten by her very own roommate, who had literally run into her a few times. Ivan had stopped dogging her footsteps, much to her relief. She rarely saw him, though there was an occasion that she would notice his poor, abused minions. There were a few chance people who recognized her, however. Alfred still attempted to tackle her when he saw her, but the impulse had been tamed some since he started hanging out with the boy from theatre who had been the magician. Francis would still try to corner her in hallways, and had a particular way about him of making her feel entirely uncomfortable. His hands seemed to somehow find their way between all her layers to get to her warm skin, raising goosebumps on her otherwise smooth flesh because they felt like he'd been having an ungloved snowball fight with them. A bit of struggling and slapping later and Madeline would be free of his arms, but not his lewd comments about her ass and what he wanted to do with her. Truly, the man was desperate! Gilbert still attempted to coax her into hanging out with him, though he was much less persistent, which she was thankful for. Though she knew it would be nice of her to just give him a chance, she was too involved in her studies to act on it.

"Hey, Mattie!" a voice called, echoing in what was silence in the library. He was shooshed immediately and sent a multitude of dirty looks, which went completely unnoticed.

Madeline knew that voice. It was Gilbert. Once she had spotted him, she watched as he strode confidently toward her, a little smirk in place on his pale lips.

"Yes, Gilbert?" she asked softly once he had reached her table.

"You like hockey, right?"

She nodded slowly, unsure of where this was going.

"I've got tickets to a game, if you would care to join me." Though the self-assured smirk remained in place, there was a small note of uncertainty in his voice, almost completely masked by his arrogant manner, but just prevalent enough that Madeline noticed.

A small smile made its way onto her face, unbidden. It was kind of sweet, really. The usually crass guy had gone out and gotten tickets and as he was holding them out, she noticed that her favorite team's name was printed on one of the tickets. A short gasp burst from her and she grabbed Gilbert's entire hand, pulling it and the tickets closer to inspect the little stubs of paper. "How did you get these, eh?" she asked, her voice rising in excitement.

"I bought them online after I made sure I would have a way to get there," he replied, a little wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows as he tried to decipher the sudden shift in her mood.

"But it's usually sold out! How?" Madeline refused to drop his hand for fear that the tickets would disappear into thin air and this moment would have been just a figment of her imagination.

"I've kinda... been meaning to ask for awhile." With his free hand, Gilbert scratched the back of his neck, a flush fighting its way onto his face. "I bought them the moment they went on sale."

"You... for me?" Madeline's brow furrowed, her confusion evident on her face.

Gilbert's response was a simple nod.

"Of course I'll go." She stood up and threw her arms around Gilbert, hugging him close. "I can't wait." It was a good thing that Madeline still had all of her jackets on or else Gilbert probably would have felt Madeline's lack of binding for the day.

At first, Gilbert stood there, stunned. He had expected to be rejected and have to practically beg to get him to come along with him, and he couldn't believe his luck in this. He had a date to go watch a violent sport with a hot date.

"It's a bit of a drive. Are you up for a long journey?" A lop sided grin flashed across Gilbert's lips, lighting up his face like lightning brightening the night sky.

"For them? I could travel days," she replied dramatically, unable to force the smile from her own face, even though her cheeks were beginning to hurt.

"Awesome. So, it's a date," Gilbert said firmly.

"It's a date. Now let me get back to work." Madeline shooed him off and tried to get back to work, but it was hard to concentrate when she was so excited. Eventually, she gave up and headed to her room, preparing for the day of the game, even though it wasn't for a few more weeks yet. She was just too high on excitement to do anything more.


	9. Hockey Date

Game day was upon her. Madeline quickly dressed, putting on the jersey of her favorite player (the big one that it was easy to hide her bound chest in) and a pair of loose-fitting pants because she didn't feel like stuffing her crotch today. Standing in hers and Ludwig's shared meticulously cleaned and organized bathroom with the door locked, Madeline was carefully defining her jaw with the makeup she kept hidden from Ludwig. Her hair had already been styled into the careless look that most guys on campus were fond of and her eyebrows had been darkened slightly and the arch made less defined. She deftly brushed the powder over her face, accentuating all the right places to give her face a more masculine look. A light layer of waterproof concealer went on to her lips and she was finished. After giving herself a critical eye in the mirror, she decided it would have to do and stuck her supplies back into its hiding spot before heading out of the bathroom.

"I swear, you take longer than a woman in there," Ludwig grumbled, hitching the towel up to just above his navel as it slipped down his waist, inching toward showing Madeline something that she wasn't too inclined to see. He had certainly become more comfortable with her around since the semester had started.

"S-sorry, eh," she mumbled. "I've got a date." Her voice was even softer than usual and a slight smile threatened the corners of her lips.

"I know. What ever made you agree to it?" Ludwig asked, wrinkling his nose as he thought of this pure young man dating his perverted older brother.

"Hockey." Her reply was simple and one word, but it explained it all in her mind.

"Hockey?" Ludwig's pale eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

"It's kinda my thing. Now shoo! Get in the shower already and stop standing here naked!"She just wanted the drilling questions to stop. It was her personal life, after all. She didn't pry into his.

Once he was in the bathroom, she picked up her phone and was just about to dial Gilbert's number when a rather loud pounding began on her door.

_Who the heck is so loud and rude around here?_ Madeline wondered to herself as she shoved the phone deep into her pocket and made her way to the door. She pressed her eye to the peep hole and looked out, seeing Gilbert standing there, grinning. He was holding a bouquet of yellow carnations. A sharp pain came into her heart upon seeing them. When she was young, her mother had taught her all about the meaning of different flowers.

Slowly, she opened the door, just as Gilbert was raising his fist to knock again. "Hey," she said timidly, eyeing the flowers he had brought, her eyebrows creased in worry.

"I brought these for you!" he exclaimed, thrusting them out toward her and looking genuinely pleased with himself. "Do you like them?" That self-assured smile never left his face.

"Uhmm... Gilbert?" she asked softly. His face fell at the slight tremor in her voice.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Do you... uh... do you know what yellow carnations mean?" She refused to look at him, instead staring at the offending flowers.

"No, I don't... Should I?"

At first, Madeline didn't reply. She licked her lips and then slowly opened them to talk. "They mean rejection." Slowly, she looked up into Gilbert's eyes, meeting them for the first time since she had noticed the flowers.

Gilbert's eyes were wide and his jaw hung slightly open. "Shit," he muttered. "I didn't mean that at all. It's just... these were the prettiest flowers at the store. The others looked kinda... ugh... And, well... to be honest, they were also the cheapest... I wanted to save my money for concessions at the game, and—" Gilbert continued to ramble, wanting Madeline (or as he knew her, Matthew) to know that he had meant nothing of the sort by those flowers.

Madeline let him continue talking for a bit until finally, she held up her hand. "It's fine. Let's just go to the game, okay?" She set down the flowers on the table and grabbed her worn leather wallet, slipping it into her pocket. There was no way that she was going to let Gilbert pay for everything anyway.

"Oh, right!" Gilbert exclaimed suddenly, grabbing her hand. "We've gotta go or we'll be late!"

The ride to the rink went by way too slowly. Gilbert's driver went the speed limit the whole way, and didn't try to make it through any red lights. All traffic laws were strictly obeyed, and it seemed like everyone and their grandmother passed the shiny black automobile. Madeline stared out the window, nervously jiggling her leg. She had never been on a date as a girl, let alone as a boy. The few times she had tried to have one, her father flipped out and yelled at her until his face turned purple. Instead of trying to keep up conversation to make the ride shorter, she stared out the window, looking at the grey branches of trees drooping with copious amounts of pure white snow while her hands twisted around one another in her lap, fingers occasionally picking at a hangnail.

A cool hand slid over hers, stilling them. "Calm down," Gilbert whispered, a reassuring smile on his face. "I promise that I won't do anything you don't want."

She nodded and held his hand properly after that, slowly getting into a conversation with him.

~~~  
>They walked into the arena and the chilly air hit their faces. The scent of warm soft pretzels, hotdogs and popcorn met their nostrils. Madeline shook out her arms, determined not to be cold, just like any other game she had been to while she ignored the butterflies in her stomach—or was that actually hunger? The two of them made their way down to their seats as the players skated into position. They had made it just in time.<p>

Face-off started the moment Gilbert and Madeline's butts had made contact with the padded cushions of their seats. The ref blew his whistle, dropped the puck and the game began. The little disk flew across the ice, zooming from stick to stick. Players dodged around one another easily, or slammed each other into the safety glass. When it happened in front of Madeline and Gilbert, an actual fight broke out. Fists slammed into bodies, knees into groins. Gear came flying off in attempts to make the blows hurt even more. Without even thinking about it, Madeline had risen to her feet and began shouting at the players, calling them wusses and telling the one from her team to beat the living shit out of him. When the ref pulled the two apart, she groaned and fell back into her seat next to a bewildered Gilbert, who had never heard her voice so loud in his life.

The game went on and Madeline had to run off to use the bathroom. She left Gilbert in his seat as she awkwardly stood outside the bathroom, not sure which one to go into. She was dressed as a man, sure, but she had avoided using public bathrooms at school. And there was no denying that she actually was a girl. After a glance left, then right, she thankfully saw a family restroom and dashed inside it before anyone else could. It was a relief not to have to make that decision, and even more of a relief to use the bathroom. When she was done, she bought a huge platter of spicy nachos and two large drinks before returning to Gilbert, and though he protested that she had bought the food, he didn't hesitate to eat it. They shared the nachos, covering their fingers in the cheese and licking it off, staring at the game, talking and having a good time together. It was the best time that Madeline had had with anyone.

When the game was over and her team had won, Madeline jumped to her feet with the rest of the crowd, shouting ecstatically at the top of her lungs until her voice gave out. When Gilbert stood up, she hugged him tightly, doing her best to thank him for taking her, even though not much sound made it past her exhausted vocal chords.

The ride home was just as long as the ride there, though it seemed much shorter. It wasn't long before Madeline had tiredly fell onto Gilbert's shoulder, sound asleep. Once back at the dorms, with his brother's help, they got her into the dorms, in her bed and her shoes off. Gilbert hadn't had the heart to wake her, but he kissed her forehead before he left, reveling in the little smile that appeared on her lips before disappearing back to his own dorm room.

**A/N:** Right now, I've got concepts for nine more chapters. OTL I hope that I can get to work on them more regularly than I have. Also, I know Ludwig was a bit OOC, but I just liked the thought of him in a towel, slowly slipping down...


	10. Deal Reminder

Christmas break followed not long after Madeline's hockey date. No matter how much she didn't want to, she was obligated to go home to her family. Sure, it would be nice to see her friends, but the time at home was bound to be a stuffy, difficult affair, probably emotional on her end and overall bad for her health. She figured that it would just be much nicer to stay at the dorms and curl up in front of one of the fireplaces with a good book. Yes, that would be much preferable.

Nonetheless, she knew she had to go. After all, her parents were paying for her education. So, she packed her books into her bag (of course she would still be studying over break! School was difficult enough without going a couple weeks without any kind of intellectual stimulation) and packed minimal clothing into her suitcase, along with all of her toiletries. She didn't really need the clothes that she wore at college as all of it was masculine and her mother pretty much required her to wear a dress whenever she was at home.

With everything packed, she stood awkwardly in her shared space with Ludwig, waiting for the call that would signal her to bring her things down. Ludwig and Gilbert wouldn't be leaving until the day after, but all of Ludwig's things were already packed. She was certain he had even started packing the day before. He was probably double, triple, or maybe even quadruple checking that he had grabbed everything that he needed for the break.

Pulling out her phone and biting her lip, Madeline checked the time. She didn't notice the door creak open or someone walk in through it. She didn't hear the sound the door made when it closed, or the tread of feet over the carpeted floor. She didn't notice the person's entrance until their arms were twining their way around her waist and she gasped, tensing and dropping her phone to the floor.

"You scared me, Gilbert!" she exclaimed breathlessly, once she recognized the arms that were around her.

"Kesese~ Well, you're the one who needs to pay more attention. Besides, you didn't think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye, did you?" He gave her a look that said she had better not have thought so lowly of him.

"I just thought... you were packing... like your brother," she said timidly. It was true, but that wasn't her thinking lowly of him. She was just used to being put second.

"Well, you're my top priority," he said confidently, squeezing her tighter and giving a toothy grin.

She couldn't help but to smile and return his embrace. "Thanks," she said softly.

The two stayed embracing for a moment longer before the phone on Madeline's floor began to play out a rather catchy show tune, insisting that someone pick it up. After disentangling herself from Gilbert's unrelenting arms, she answered the phone, trying to keep her attention on it while Gilbert played with a few strands of hair at the base of her neck. When the call was over, she turned to him sadly. "Well, it's time for me to go..." She looked anywhere but at him, not really wanting to say goodbye.

Gently grabbing her chin between two fingers, Gilbert turned her face back to his and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "Have a good time," he whispered, lips almost touching hers and making them tingle. "I'll carry your bags for you." He pulled away and looked down to the single bag she had laying on the floor and his expression immediately turned quizzical. "Is this it?"

Madeline nodded, looking at the floor. "I don't really have much with me here."

"Oh," Gilbert muttered lamely before shrugging and picking up the bag. "Well, don't wanna leave them waiting, huh?" Taking her hand with his free one, Gilbert led her out. The last contact they had was a tight hug, which was given a look by Madeline's driver, before she was ushered into the car and whisked away to her family.

~~~  
>The ride home was long and dull. Madeline continually sighed, staring out the window at whatever scenery passed, seeing it and yet not seeing it at the same time. Her eyes wouldn't focus on one thing and instead sat with a slightly dazed look as they reflected back at her through the glass of the window. She would much rather spend hours in her dull Business 101 class than have to go home to her father. Not to mention that her mother would probably not spare her a glance before she had gotten herself to look 'proper.' It was going to be a long vacation, if vacation is even a word that could be used to describe any amount of time under her father's roof.<p>

It seemed like days before they finally pulled through the wrought iron gates with their artistic, swirling designs and began to make their way down the long paved drive. At the main house, her father stood before the door with a few maids, looking stern as ever as he waited for her arrival. As she stepped out onto the drive and straightened up, a look of disgust briefly crossed his face before he hid it and stepped toward her, all the false welcome in the world not making his voice sound more pleasant. Of course he would fake paternal warmth as though he loved her, even though it was obvious to her that he wished she would be 'normal' and stop trying to 'rebel' all the time.

"Welcome home. Why don't you go up and unpack and make yourself decent for dinner?" The way he said decent made Madeline certain that she was supposed to make herself look as feminine as possible.

"Yes, Papa," she said, allowing the maids to take her bag and then usher her up to her room.

Once they had left her to get ready, she sighed and headed into the bathroom. Slowly, methodically, she washed the makeup from her face and then scrubbed the gel from her hair. As she toweled her hair dry, she looked into the mirror, frowning slightly. She looked far too androgynous and knew she would need to get her makeup to look feminine, rather than masculine. Perfect. Just... perfect. Heaving yet another sigh, she threw the towel into the hamper, along with her masculine clothes. Then, it was time to get started from her now blank canvas of a body.

Not having binding was nice, even as she stood naked before her full length mirror. First, she sprayed the floral scent onto her body that she knew her mother approved of most. Then, she pulled on her undergarments, wrinkling her nose at the way her bra fit her. It felt strange after binding day after day. She felt more naked with that on than when she was free of all garments. Next, she leaned in close to the mirror and started doing her makeup, not wanting to have to worry about getting any on her clothes. Her parents would _not_ approve of that. First came coverup, followed by liquid foundation and then a powder to set the liquid. Her eyes were accentuated, a soft pink eyeshadow applied, followed by a thin layer of black eyeshadow, just enough to make her lashes look thicker. Then followed mascara, darkening and defining her eyelashes, making them thicker and covering up what powder had fallen onto them as she gave a base coat to her face. Her lips were painted with a soft feminine color and a slight blush then powdered her cheeks. Looking up into the mirror, she could barely recognize herself from all the times she had just basic powder and a few defining strokes. After rinsing her hands, she went to her wardrobe and picked out a powder pink dress to match the eyeshadow she wore. The dress was very lacy and fell to her knees with short sleeves and a neckline that fell to a mere inch above her cleavage. She wore a silver heart pendant which carried pictures of her two best friends. Then she headed back into her bathroom, added soft curls to her hair and then slipped on a pair of heels to match her dress and wobbled down to finally meet with her mother. It took quite some time as it had been months since she'd walked in the shoes.

"Oh, Madeline! Why did we ever let you cut your hair!" her mother lamented the moment Madeline was in view. Nonetheless, she did pull her into her arms and hug her tightly. "It's good to see you home." She then pushed the girl out to arms length and looked her over. Seemingly satisfied with the otherwise feminine appearance, she smiled and said, "Come on, then. Dinner's nearly ready."

The two of them settled themselves into dining room chairs, standing when Madeline's father walked into the room and only sitting again once he had sat down. At first, dinner seemed as though it would be a quiet affair, until Madeline's father cleared his throat.

"Madeline, this is the best time to talk to you about this. You know that part of the bargain was keeping your grades up, yes?"

"Yes, father," she meekly replied, looking down at her plate. Those goddamn business classes were killing her GPA.

"And do you know what you've gotten in all of your classes?"

Eyes still fixed firmly on her plate, she shook her head.

"Look at me and speak up!" His voice shook the delicate chandelier and the tinkling of the little crystals was in juxtaposition with his rough voice.

Swallowing hard, Madeline forced her chin up and looked into his eyes. "No, father. I do not know what I got in any of my classes."

"Well. Lucky for me I have your report right here." He pulled out a pair of reading glasses and perched them on his nose before taking out a folded piece of paper and unfurling it, sitting up straighter and adopting a mightier-than-thou look upon his face. "Theatre, A+." Oh, good. Madeline had hope. "Ethics, B." The hope flickered a little. "Business 101, D+." The hope threatened to blow out. "Advanced Business Calculations, C-." It felt like Madeline's heart was constricting. "And finally, Modern Businesses, F." That was it. That was what he was building up to.

"Oh," she said lamely, fighting to keep her head from dropping.

"If you do not do better next term, that will be the end of our agreement. You're coming home and your dream of being an actress is dead." The paper was folded meticulously and replaced in his pocked, followed by the reading glasses. "That's all the business for this dinner." He chuckled a bit, thinking he had made a funny pun. "Now then. Let's eat!"

Normally, the scent of oven roasted chicken and rosemary, fresh green beans, mashed potatoes and gravy, and corn bread would have Madeline's mouth watering nonstop. But after that conversation, she felt like there was a brick of lead in her stomach, being tossed about on its churning sea of acid. She merely pushed the food around the plate with her fork until the butler came to remove the dish, only to replace it with dessert: a warm, fresh from the oven brownie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream melting rivulets down the plate and topped with hot fudge and caramel criss-crossed perfectly over top. It was all she could do to say she was full and ask to be excused. Her father allowed her to this time, and she took off.

The moment she got to her room, she stepped into the shower fully clothed, turned the water as hot as it would go, and stood there crying streams of make-up while the water scalded her skin and took her attention away from the weight in her stomach. When the tears would no longer come and the water had long since turned to icy needles piercing her flesh, she turned it off and went straight to her bed, crawling under the blankets still wet and naked.

She had no hope of better grades next semester. Not with the additional business classes she was to take. She would be back here in no time, with only herself to blame and somehow... somehow, she would still have to run this business, while knowing that she would never be on a stage in front of hundreds of people, doing all that she could to portray a character, letting her heart and soul flow into what she was most passionate about. All of this was now distant and unattainable. And it was killing her.

**A/N:** Sorry for the end of this. I just... am not in a good mood, what with everything going on in my life. I'll try to update more frequently... but no promises. Thanks to everyone who has followed my thus far, though. It means a lot.


	11. Home Life

**A/N:** I'm busier with work than I ever was with school and I'm trying to get fit, so I won't be writing much. And I know this chapter kinda sucked. I'm sorry. And sorry again because I couldn't think of a better name for fem!Cuba. Bleh.

The next morning, Madeline lay in bed in protest of the unfairness of life. Her parents stocked it up to being a teenager on break from college, so they let her be. They sent her invitations to meals and told their staff that if she wasn't going to eat with them, she wouldn't eat at all. Still, she stayed in bed, ignoring the hunger pains in her stomach. When was the last time she had eaten? Breakfast alone the day she left to come here? It didn't really matter. Sure, she was hungry, sure she would slowly waste away if she didn't eat anything... But there wasn't really much left to her life now anyway. Her dream was crushed, she hated what she was going to have to do with a passion that grew worse the more she thought about it. Sure, there was Gilbert, but it was only a matter of time before he was wrenched away from her as well... Not to mention that he still didn't know her gender.

Sighing for what was probably the hundredth time that morning, she rolled over, looking to the floor where her clothes from the other night still lay rumpled and untouched since she had peeled them from her body after the shower. That had also been her last shower, not that it mattered much. Sure, she had bedhead which was also rather greasy and she could probably use some deodorant, but other than that, she hadn't been moving around enough to really sweat much.

A light knock on her door startled Madeline from yet another blank stare at the hairline crack in her otherwise perfectly smooth, stark white ceiling. She just turned her eyes to the wood grain to look for the one that looked like a rabbit. The person at the door would go away soon enough. They always did. The knock persisted, this time with a voice.

"Madeline? Are you in there?" The voice wasn't that of her mother or any of their staff. It was her Cuban friend from down the street, Dalian. She could tell the girl's accent anywhere.

"Yes," she croaked, her voice harsh from the disuse of the past few days.

"May I come in?"

"O-one moment." Scrambling around frantically and stumbling on shaky legs, Madeline managed to quickly slip on a dress and kick her last outfit under the bed before she finally unlocked the door. Dalian was standing there, her hair pinned perfectly to her head, wearing the dress their mothers had picked out together on a shopping trip years ago.

"You look horrid!" She exclaimed, stepping into the room and embracing Madeline into her large chest.

"I'm okay," Madeline replied, muffled by the mixture of skin and excessive cloth.

"You aren't! What happened to your hair? And why haven't you been writing us? Hallie and Melissa are absolutely distraught that you haven't contacted them since coming home and Sheryl has taken it as a personal offense!"

"I... haven't been well," Madeline replied, finally managing to disentangle herself from the frilly lace at her friend's bosom.

"That much is obvious. So, what? Do you have cancer or something?"

"What?" Madeline's eyebrows knit together as she tried to understand why her friend would jump to cancer, of all things, as the reason she had been sick. "No. Why do you ask?"

"Well," she said, making vague motions at her head. "You're hair... it's all... short."

"I really like it this way." Self-consciously, Madeline crossed her arms over her chest, feeling defensive about her hair. She didn't really like it that short, but it was a necessity for her to fit in.

"It's kinda hideous. You look like a boy."

That hit her hard for some reason. Sure, she was trying to look like a boy, but she didn't feel hideous. Her eyes stung, threatening tears again. "Maybe you should go," she said softly.

"But—"

"Please. I'm not feeling well." Turning away from her one-time best friend, Madeline determined not to break down until the girl had left.

"Alright. But just know that I'm telling everyone what happened here." With that said, Dalian turned on her heel and walked out, nose turned up toward the ceiling.

When she was alone again, Madeline locked the door and curled up on her bed, using what was left of her energy to cry.

Over the course of the rest of her so-called vacation, Madeline had calls from the rest of her friends, which she took reluctantly. They were her friends, after all... Were. Each and every one of them decided that they no longer had anything in common with 'the tom-boy girl who always followed them around and made them look like white trash.' What little bit of hope Madeline had left for her friends was crushed, as was her spirit. She wanted to get back to where she fit in, even if she had to fake it to be liked.


	12. Back To School

**A/N:** What?! Another update!? What's happening with the world?

After a cruelly long break, Madeline was ready to get back to school. As she got ready for the trip back, she hummed as the makeup brush swept gently along her jaw, depositing the darker minerals and defining her chin. All girly traces were gone as she finished up and gave herself one last look over. The only thing she hadn't been able to rid herself of were the dark rings stubbornly clinging to the bags under her eyes. Other than that, she looked very well put together in her baggy college sweatshirt, loose jeans and freshly trimmed hair. As challenging as the next semester was bound to be, she was glad to get away from her father's house.

As Madeline left her room, a spring in her step, she walked past her mother, who immediately averted her eyes and turned to walk in the opposite direction as her offspring.

"Mom!" Madeline called after her. The woman didn't turn. The only thing to imply she may have heard was the quickening of the footsteps headed away from the girl. "Mom, don't you want to say goodbye?" Silence. Madeline hung her head. She should have known her mom wouldn't want to be near such a rough looking girl as herself. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Just keep going. Things will look up. Madeline started walking again. This wasn't going to get her down. She had seeing Gilbert to look forward to. That thought in mind, she perked off as she (quite stiffly and formally) said farewell to her father and headed back to school.

The ride was spent picking at her nails, ruining them to a point they hadn't been since before her mother made her get manicures. The ends were either dented with teeth marks or jagged from having been ripped off. The only thing that stopped her was when she ripped one too close to the quick and her finger began to bleed. She pressed on the offending finger, the pain soothing away her worries. She was almost there... Almost... Just a little longer...

Next thing Madeline new, someone was rapping on the top of the car. She roused herself and sat up sleepily, rubbing at her eyes. She hadn't slept so good since before she left the dorms.

"Time to get out, Miss," her driver informed her. The bag she had brought with her was set neatly on the ground, waiting for her to take it to her dorm.

"Thank you," she said softly, stepping from the vehicle. "But on campus, it's Mister. Please don't forget."

"Of course, young man," the driver said warmly. "Now, I've been instructed to come straight home after dropping you off, so I can't help you with your bag, but I trust you can manage?" Madeline nodded. "Good. Have a good semester and show your father what you can do." A short smile crossed her lips and she nodded. "Farewell, then." He pulled her into a short hug before going around to his side and driving off.

That was what Madeline needed to keep her going. Picking up her bag, she allowed herself a bit of tunnel vision as she went straight for her dorm room, paying attention to nothing until she had flopped herself down on the bed. It felt as if the mattress sucked all of the tension from her body, calling her back to sleep. There was still another day before the semester began again, after all.

The door banged open, slamming against the wall and the mattress quickly shoved the tension back into her body like a handsy teenage boy backing off a girl as her father burst in. "Did you miss me?" asked a rather loud German boy, grinning from ear to ear.

"H-how did you get in..?" Madeline asked breathlessly, the shock from his sudden entrance still racing through her body, chasing the blood that her heart was pumping at double its normal speed.

"I was hanging out with Lutz when I heard you come in. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." His weight made the cheap dorm mattress sink down as he settled next to her and pulled her into his arms. "I just really missed you."

"I missed you too." She let herself be comforted by his embrace, her heart restoring its normal rhythm as her body leaned into the familiar one holding it. "It was a long break."

"Ja," he replied, his usual whispery laugh tickling her scalp. "You wouldn't believe the things that I did in all that time."

She turned her head to look up at him. "Did you skin a deer?" It was the first thing that came to her mind.

"What? No." He laughed again and then took a good look at her. "You look like you've been up the whole vacation tracking them, though."

"My parents are... difficult. They want me majoring in something else," she said softly, averting her eyes and cursing the makeup that still couldn't lighten the bags.

"Oh... Well, how about you lay down and I won't be offended if you fall asleep while I tell you about my break?"

The right corner of Madeline's mouth lifted. "I'd like that," she said softly, and then found her way under the blankets.

Gilbert settled himself next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Good now?" he asked. She just nodded and nuzzled her way into his chest. She could feel his voice as it made its way up and out, spinning tales of getting his brother drunk, pushing the car four miles to a gas station, losing his favorite shoes in the snowbank he had just shoveled up and possibly something about wrestling a bear? Madeline wasn't sure. She just knew that the best thing for her at the moment was to listen to his voice and drift slowly off to sleep. Her body so desperately needed the sleep that she didn't even bother to kick off her shoes.


	13. Cracking Down

Madeline was too comfortable when she woke up. She tried to turn over, only to realize there was something warm and sturdy keeping her from doing so. Forcing open her tired eyes, she looked to see that Gilbert had stayed the night with her. He was sprawled over most of the bed, leaving her a short space before the wall and whatever space that she wanted on top of him. She was mostly laying on him because there was nowhere else to lay. Smiling softly she stroked his cheek, feeling a light layer of stubble. After taking in his sleeping face for a moment, she looked to her clock and nearly fell off the bed. She had fifteen minutes to get herself ready and get to her first class. Shit.

She was on her feet in a matter of seconds, after scrambling over Gilbert and probably elbowing and kneeing him in some uncomfortable places. She ran for the bathroom, thanking god that Ludwig wasn't in there. After locking the door, she got to work on fixing up her makeup, ignoring her protesting bladder. The most important part was looking like a man. For good measure, she made herself look like she had some stubble before finally allowing herself to pee.

"Mattie? Matthew, are you okay?" Gilbert had finally gotten himself up from bed, ribs aching.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she called awkwardly from the toilet. "Just woke up late. Can you grab my books for me?"

"Why? Are you shitting?" Gilbert laughed at his own joke, but Madeline could her his footsteps recede, indicating he had done as she asked.

A quick wash of her hands, Madeline grabbed her stuff from Gilbert, kissed his cheek and ran to class, just barely on time for History of Big Business. She flopped into her chair, out of breath, but proud of herself. What a way to start off the semester!

About 10 minutes into the class, Madeline found herself lost. She didn't know what her professor was talking about, what any of the terms meant, anything. Her head hurt and she ran her fingers through her hair a few times, pushing it from her face and tugging it in frustration. Rubbing her temples did nothing to relieve the headache threatening to overcome her.

When her professor released them from class, she stood up, barely keeping her composure before escaping to the bathroom to let a few tears fall before calming down.

Her Choir and then Private Voice lessons followed and she felt herself relaxing. This would make the semester better. At least she knew what she was doing here, even if her voice was slightly higher than most of the boys. It was hard for her to pass as a tenor when she was so used to being a soprano, but the freedom of getting to sing made it just that much better. Following that was Theatrical Makeup. That was her favorite. She new about mixing colors and natural makeup. Of course, it was all new to most of the boys, who were just taking the class for the later part about monster makeup, but Madeline was perfectly in her element here.

All good things must end, however. Business 210 was her next class and again, she was lost. She drowned in the wealth of information that she didn't understand and the jargon that went along with it. Not to mention that it was incredibly boring and the teacher spoke in a monotone. It was hard for her to keep from breaking down, especially since she didn't have time to visit the bathroom afterward. Business Practice followed directly after. Luckily, she caught onto this better than her other business classes, but it was still hard and took every bit of concentration she had to keep up with the rest of the class, who eagerly put in their opinions, knowing exactly what they were talking about.

When her day was finally over, Madeline went to her dorm and washed her face. Then, she closed herself in her own room, apologizing to Gilbert and saying she just needed to be alone for a few. Once she was certain he was gone, she removed her binder and put on some pajamas, trying to feel lighter than the weight that was pulling her down fast.

After that day, she told Gilbert that the time they spent together would be less until she got back on track and she wouldn't except his help, thinking he wouldn't know anything of business. She became a bit of a shut in, going out only for class and the occasional meal. She crammed every bit of information into her head that she could, whether it made sense or not. Each text book she read, she attempted to memorize, her eyes turning red and tired with the late hours she spent with them. They were all she saw, and even in her dreams, text books, classes, failure. That's all that was on her mind. Her fingers ached from holding the pencil and pressing to hard into the page with each stroke. She had copied down pages from her books, hoping that muscle memory might help her to remember key terms. Her highlighters ran out of ink, all 4 colors of them.

As her brain tried futilely to retain the information, her body grew weaker. She didn't sleep much, didn't eat much. The bags under her eyes were more permanent than before. They were darker and her eyes looked sunken in, like they were being swallowed by the dark bags. She lost weight and her clothes got baggier than they were before. It was obvious that she needed to put down the books and enjoy herself for once. But she wouldn't.

The only thing that didn't change was her beauty regimen. She still showered daily, even as she watched clumps of hair circle the drain from her stress. She still bound herself and made herself look as manly as she could, working hard to hide the curves that were more prominent with her weight loss. Every day, carefully and precisely, Madeline did her makeup, making herself look masculine and as well-kept as she could, considering the tiredness etched into her face from long nights, and the permanent frown that grew day by day as she frustratedly couldn't remember certain facts from her classes.

But she persisted. She went to class, she tried and tried and tried. She was beginning to think things would be the death of her, but she still tried. Nothing was going to stand in the way of her dream, not even these hellish classes that her father made her take. She didn't care that she had to forgo having fun with her friends for the time being. Right now, the only thing that mattered was getting through this semester.


	14. Late Night Deal

With bloodshot eyes, Madeline read the line in the text for the fourteenth time. Her eyes were dry and raw and she tried to blink them both to regain some moisture and to get ride of the fuzziness threatening to overwhelm them. As she stared at the line again, still uncomprehending, her eyes went unfocused and then slowly began to droop. The lead weight of her head slowly fell forward toward the table until her cheek rested on the offending pages of the book that she was attempting to read. She was so frustrated with all this work. None of it appeared to be paying off. She didn't understand anything better than she had before she took the class. Was there something wrong with her that made it more difficult for her to understand? She wasn't certain. The only thing that was certain is that the whole ordeal was making her depressed. Maybe she should just take something to help ease her to sleep and then not bother waking up for class... or ever again. But maybe that could wait. The textbook was such a nice pillow at the moment anyway...

"Mattie! I found you!"

Madeline shot straight up so fast that her spine cracked and she gasped in pain. She wasn't sleeping. She had to study. This book wasn't going to read and understand itself!

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Gilbert knelt down in front of her face and rested his palm on her cheek. She leaned into it, grateful for both the comfort it lent to her and the human contact that she had been avoiding in favor of late nights at the library, like the one she was currently having. "I have three things that are going to happen for you. You have no choice in the matter. Got it?"

"But—" Madeline began, her forehead creasing, eyes going wider than they had made it in hours with sheer panic crossing the threshold of her face.

"No buts." Gilbert cut her off, moving his hand to press a finger lightly to her lips. "You're going to do these things, okay?" He looked intensely into her eyes, trying to send a beam of trustworthiness from his eyes to her own, letting her know that he would never do anything that wasn't for her own good.

Slowly, Madeline nodded her head, a strand of hair falling forward into her face. It had been awhile since she had given it a trim and the hair was trying to frame her face, accentuating her feminine fingers, against the will of the makeup she slathered on her face every morning.

"Good. Actually, make that four things." He gently pushed the lock from her forehead before pressing his lips lightly against the uncovered skin, which furrowed under adding a new demand to the list. "The one I just added is that you need a haircut. You look like a girl. I could do it for you, if you want."

"No, it's fine." A slight smile attempted to sneak onto Madeline's lips for the first time in months. "I'll cut it myself. What's the next one?"

Gilbert smiled, glad that she was going along with this. "Okay. My next thing is that immediately following this conversation, you are going to put away your things, stop studying and go to bed. I don't care if you sleep in your own dorm room or mine, but you are finding a bed and sleeping in it. Got it?"

His face was stern and it was obvious to Madeline that there was no was he was going to budge of this. With a sigh, she nodded. "Can I have my own condition on that one?"

"That depends on what it is."

"Will you stay with me tonight? Maybe it will stave off the nightmares of textbooks being literally crammed into my skull."

"Of course I will stay with you. I've been wanting to every night." He pulled her into a tight embrace. "Which brings me to my next thing. You have lost too much weight. It's not like you were a big guy to begin with. So, for the next week, you will join me for every meal—that's breakfast, lunch _and_ dinner. No skipping. And you will eat at every one of them." He stopped and thought for a moment. "And at least one of them will be balanced. Y'know, fruits, veggies, the whole deal."

"That sounds nice, but I don't want to get anything on my books..."

"Oh, that won't matter, because you're not going to be studying. You need breaks. It's good for you and helps absorb information better."

"Where'd you learn that?" Madeline didn't believe it for a second.

"It doesn't matter. No books."

Madeline huffed. At least now if she failed, she would have someone to blame it on.

"No books?" Gilbert reaffirmed.

"Fine, no books."

"Alright, good. My last requirement is that at the end of the week, you're going to finally fulfill your promise to have a hockey match with me! I've already got teams." He looked at her, beaming from ear to ear, so proud to have remembered that little detail, and then to have gone and actually made a plan of action?! It was perfect!

"I don't remember that promise!"

"It was way at the beginning of last semester, before we dated and stuff."

"I still don't remember."

"Please just do it for me?" His eyes got wider and somehow seemed to sparkle as his lower lip jutted itself out, showing black marks amongst the pink of his skin.

"Fine, fine." Madeline looked away from the puppy dog face, but the curiosity for what was on his lip stuck with her.

"Good. Because all the sitting around you've been doing to study is bound to have given you muscle deterioration. I want you strong and healthy." He winked at her and she couldn't fight the blush that bloomed over her cheeks.

"W-well, I'll do it if you tell me one thing."

"Of course. Anything." He leaned forward, curious to know just what she could want from him.

"What was that on your lip?"

"My lip?"

"Yeah, when you stuck it out, there was black..."

"Oh! Ja, that's my tattoo. It says 'life' in German." He pulled down his lip and stretched it out so that she could see the neat little black letters with their saliva shine.

"I never new you had a tattoo..."

His mouth tried to smile, so he had to let his lip go so that it could. "You never asked."

Madeline pushed him playfully, feeling a bit better already, now that she'd had some contact with another life form outside of the classroom. Gilbert laughed and let himself fall backward onto the ground, even though the push had barely been anything.

Madeline smiled and moved to the ground next to him. "So... what made you get it...?"

"Truthfully?" Gilbert licked his lips. He was fine with the story now, but other people got upset when he told it... But Matthew did ask him after all, and the two were dating... "When I was younger, I tried to kill myself. It didn't succeed, and afterward, Lutz basically became my therapist. It was hard coming up from that, but I did. And now to remind myself whenever I get down about life, I have this tattoo to remind myself that life is worth living. Especially now." He looked straight into her eyes, the meaning of his words all to plain in the space between them, pulling another blush up from Madeline's cheeks. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, having missed those lips.

"Excuse me." The librarian walked up to them and they pulled apart immediately. "Library's closed."

"Ja, ja, we're going. Don't harass us." Gilbert rolled his eyes, got to his feet and then helped up Madeline. He grabbed her books before she even had a chance, then took her hand and headed out. "Now let's get you some sleep."

Madeline nodded and they made their way to the dorms for some much needed rest.

**A/N:** Creative juices flowing! Yay! Also, I thought Gilbert with a tattoo would be hot. :)


	15. Friendly Competition

After a week's worth of giving her body enough sleep, eating a decent amount of food and not studying every waking hour, Madeline's body was getting back to normal. Her hair was again groomed neatly, her clothes fit her body the way they did at the beginning of the semester, her eyes lost the bruise-like shadows and came out of their sunken state to shine with life again. No longer did she have bloodshot eyes and a sagging posture from the weight of all that she had taken on this semester. She even found that her grades were a bit better (but only slightly. Business was hard as hell).

"Hey, Matt! You outta the shower yet?" Gilbert pounded on the door for the seventh time since she had gone to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

"Almost, Gilbert. Just give me a moment to dry off."  
>"I have to take a piss! Really fucking bad!"<p>

"Go in the bushes outside."

"I'm naked."

Rolling her eyes as she finally turned off the water, she replied, "When aren't you?"

"Why aren't you ever," Gilbert retorted quickly.

"I am right now."

"Prove it."

"I'm not going to let you see me naked until I'm ready." It was obvious to her that since they'd started sleeping in the same bed, Gilbert had been becoming increasingly more sexually frustrated. As bad as Madeline felt about it, she couldn't really do anything about it for multiple reasons.

An exasperated sigh sounded from the other side of the door as if Gilbert's mouth was pressed directly in the crack of the door, and then he stomped away from the door and left Madeline alone until she finally got ready to leave the bathroom.

She opened the door and her heart lept into her throat. Gilbert had somehow snuck back and managed to not make a sound. He was just standing in front of the door, and a grin split his face the moment he saw her. Wrapping his naked arms around her body, he pulled her into a hug, making sure she pressed against him as much as possible, feeling the heat emanate off her face as she realized that he was still naked as the day he was born.

"G-Gilbert!" she exclaimed, trying to push away from him.

"What? Don't you want a hug?" His voice was like dripping with sadness as tears drip from a chin.

"You know exactly what." This time, that tone of voice was not going to get to her. Nope. It certainly wasn't.

"I just really wanted to hug you." His arms loosened, as if he were defeated. She could easily push away now if she wanted to, but dammit! He had gotten her again and she hugged him back, trying not to think about the fact that he was stark naked.

"N-now you go get your shower. I've got class!" She pushed away from him and playfully pushed him into the bathroom. "See you after class!"

"In the ice rink," he called after her.

"Of course," she replied. She hadn't forgotten her promise. She would play a game of hockey with him and completely cream him. Cocky little Gilbert didn't know what was coming to him. She smirked a little to herself as she ran off for her classes.

After being in class for what seemed like millenia, Madeline was finally done. She stopped quickly by her dorm to change into her hockey gear and eat a granola bar, and then she walked toward the ice hall, skates hanging over her shoulder and beating against her body with every movement. She was absolutely thrilled. It had been far too long since she had been on the ice. It wasn't lady like to play hockey, so that had been forbidden quickly. She had still been allowed to 'figure skate,' but that had taken the fun out of everything. For every beat of her skates against her body, her heart beat twice as many times. This was going to be fantastic.

Once she was seated on a bench, she took her skates and hastily stuffed her feet inside, tightening her laces just right so as not to worry about broken ankles. Awkwardly, she wobbled across the rubber mats and out onto the ice.

This was where she belonged. One thin blade scraped across the ice, followed by another. Smoothly cutting across, gliding. Bring one foot forward, push off with the other. Faster, faster. The adrenaline thrill she felt beginning ran through her body faster than her feet flew over the ice. Lap after exhilarating lap around the frozen ground, cheeks tinting pink in the bite of the air. That didn't matter, though. What mattered was that she was gliding across the ground, flying through the air. Her body worked with her, muscles weak from years of neglect, the worst of it in the past few weeks. Even as they protested, the enjoyed the movement. Each powerful push propelling her across the ice. A quick spin, a short jump and an easy landing. Maneuvering around like a pro, a silly grin on her face, Madeline didn't notice at first as people started filing onto the ice. She turned her skates, spraying up ice on the other boys as she brought herself to a halt right in front of them, chest heaving from the short spans of exertion.

"Um, hello?" she said timidly, thinking that she was probably encroaching on someone's practice time.

"I want his team," one of the littler ones said.

"M-my team?" Madeline knew she sounded dumb, but she was confused and needed clarification.

"You didn't think you were playing hockey one on one, did you?" Ivan asked, chuckling a little. "And I am claiming her team not." He draped an arm easily around her, pulling her to his side.

"W-well, you can't all be on my team, eh," she said, feeling nervous, discomfort contorting her face slightly.

"Nein, but I've got teams all set," Gilbert said, slipping slightly as he stepped onto the ice. Obviously, the transition wasn't quite as easy for him.

Gilbert split them up. Madeline and Ivan were on a team with the small Finnish boy, Tino; and the insane Danish guy, Matthias. Gilbert's team consisted of the frightening Swede, Berwald; the Icelandic boy whose name she couldn't remember; and the Norwegian boy who hadn't said his name. Tino and Berwald hadn't looked too happy about being split up, but they listened, while the Norwegian kid looked to Matthias and smirked.

"Mattie and me are team captains, so listen up, bitches!" Gilbert said, getting glares from everyone. "Okay, okay. Anyway, listen to us for your positions and shit."

Madeline put Tino in her goal, with Ivan up for the face-off, while Gilbert sent the Icelandic boy to his goal with Berwald up for the face-off. The two men glared at each other as they skated forward. Madeline tilted her head to the side as she watched them. "Wait... Who's our ref?" she asked, glancing around.

"Sorry I'm late. That's me." Ludwig awkwardly was trying to hurry over to them while not tripping on his skates. He looked completely out of place on the ice, but someone managed to skate over without incident. After skating to the middle and making the two of them promise to play fair, he dropped the puck and the game began.

Madeline tuned everything out except for herself, the other players and that little black puck. She skated forward, smacking the puck from Berward's stick, as he had taken off with it. Her heartbeat drowned out all other noise and she quickly moved around Gilbert, passing her puck off to the Norwegian as Berwald got too close. Fast paced movements, pucks flying, all eyes on the tiny little thing as it flew across the ice. Madeline was determined to be faster. She was to be the fastest, the best. She was going to make the first goal. The others began to trail behind as she pushed her body and aimed the shot and—it was caught and put back into play, heading toward her goal. This was certainly not okay. All was going well, looking up for her team when Ivan apparently pushed Gilbert too hard and the two of them threw blows.

Ludwig's shrill whistle cut the air as he made his was toward them, struggling to come to a graceful stop. "I know you will have even smaller teams, but the two of you are out on penalty."

Gilbert groaned and tried to plead otherwise, even as blood ran from his nose and Ivan favored his left side.

"Get off the ice," Ludwig said sternly. After another moment of protest, the two complied.

The game went on, and both teams got closer and closer to scoring on one another until finally Madeline's puck caught net.

"Yes!" she screamed, jumped up. She skated to the side where Gilbert was just getting ready to join the action again. "You see that! Goooooooooaaaaal!" She was obviously excited as she did a victory lap before settling back into her position, blocking everything out and getting back into the game.

Gilbert rolled his eyes at her excitement and stepped back onto the ice as the action resumed. When the time allotted to them was finally up, Madeline's team was up 2-1. The rest of the teams headed off the ice to shower, but Madeline stayed behind.

"I just need a cooldown," she said to them. Truthfully, she just wanted a bit longer on the ice. They left her to it, though, and she breathed a sigh of relief, going back to skating for just a little bit longer.

**A/N:** I apologize profusely. I've been wanting to write for so long, but I'm full time student and worker and ah! This has been crazy!


	16. Truth Revealed

Once she had gotten a few more laps in, allowing the sweat to cool on her tired body and giving all the guys enough time to shower and head on their way, Madeline dared risk going to the locker room. Stripping the sweaty equipment off her body, she breathed a sigh of relief as her naked skin met the rank air of the locker room. It was a familiar place to her. Normally, Madeline wouldn't risk just getting naked in the middle of a room like this, but she needed a shower before she put any clean clothes on. Grabbing her towel and toiletries, she headed to the showers with curtains meant for shy kids and guys with small dicks. Turning on the water, Madeline stepped under the spray. The cold water made her shiver and raised goosebumps over her entire body, but she stood under it, letting her body get used to it before slowly turning it warmer. Slowly, her muscles relaxed and she began to wash her sweaty body.

She had just turned away from the gushing water to rinse her hair when the curtain was yanked aside. "Ha ha, I knew I'd catch you naked even...tually..." Gilbert stared at her dumbfounded for a moment before his face turned hard with anger. He gave her a contemptuous look and then turned and walked away without another word.

"Wait! I can explain!" Madeline called after him, leaving the shower running as she grabbed her towel and ran after him.

"Explain what?!" His voice was harsh, matching the look on his face as he glanced back before continuing to walk away from her. "How you've been lying to me?"

"It's not like that! I wanted to tell you!"

He stopped walking and turned to face her. "You've betrayed my trust, _Matthew_." He looked disgusted as he said the name, as if it left a burn in his mouth. "It's not going to be repaired with a few sweet little words. We're done." He turned on his heel and continued walking away, giving her no time to regain her composure and run after him.

Somehow, she managed to pull herself back together, dress and get out of the locker rooms. Her boyfriend hated her and her cover was blown. The thoughts tossed themselves about her head like the bile in her stomach. There was no way that she wouldn't be sick. But she had to make it to her dorm. She had to pack and get out before she got in even more trouble. When she got to her room, she found another obstacle.

"What the hell did you do to him?" The angry German voice greeted her at the door, allowing no entrance. "What did you do to my brother?"

So Gilbert hadn't said what she was...?

"I-I don't know what you mean." She tried her best to remain calm.

"He called and said that he wouldn't be seeing me today because he needed to get over a bad breakup. Now, I'm only going to ask what you did one last time. What. Did. You. Do. To. Him?" Each word fell heavy from his mouth, slapping Madeline in the face with all the restrained anger and menace of a powerful German man.

"I'm a liar," she said softly, hanging her head. "I'm a liar and he hates me."

Ludwig blinked, as if he had been expecting confrontation and was no longer sure how to handle the situation.

"Just let me in!" she shouted, taking advantage of his momentary lapse in offense and pushing past him to get to her room. She locked the door and curled up on her bed, blocking out the pounding on her door and the angry German swear words coming her way.

The next several days, Madeline was jumpy and paranoid. She walked as if there was glass beneath her feet, memorizing Ludwig's schedule so as to avoid him, and desperately looking for Gilbert. She spotted him once, even made eye contact, but the moment she started walking toward him, he headed off in the opposite direction. Luckily, he seemed to have said nothing about her identity to anyone else, as no one had approached her or tried to kick her out of the school. However, her grades were again declining, as was her health. She tried to eat, but her stomach rejected most things. What did manage to stay down made her feel perpetually ill. Nonetheless, she kept trying. She had to. Things would get better. This was just the bottom of the barrel, right? Wrong. She laid her head down on the textbook before her with a sigh.

It was inevitable that he would have found out. He would have wanted to take their relationship to the next level, or something would have happened. But he wasn't supposed to find out like this. She wanted to sit him down and break it to him gently. After all, there was no way that she could spend the entirety of her life pretending to be a man unless she got some serious surgery, and that wasn't something that she was considering, especially with all the risks that came with it. Why did it have to be like this? Madeline lamented, wiping away the tears threatening to leave their tracks down her face.

Clenching her fists, Madeline mentally slapped herself. _Forget yourself!_ She told herself. _You need to just crack down. Get these damn grades out of the way. Once this year is done, you can move somewhere else and stop ruining yourself._ Even with the mental peptalk, she was still down. But she took a deep breath and buried her nose in the book, ignoring her body's warning signs of illness.

**A/N:** Here you go! Have a nice cliffhanger~


	17. Lingering Feelings

**A/N:** This chapter is from Gilbert's POV.

"Come on, Gilbert. You need to cheer up. Get over him. He wasn't that cute anyway," Francis said, pulling Gilbert into his chest. "I can give you some great sex to get you back on track!"

"First off, you thought he was pretty damn cute. I know you wanted to get in his pants real bad. Secondly, not funny, Francis," Gilbert said, pushing away from the man and staring at his plate. "You know I have never, nor will I ever let you fuck me." He grabbed his fork and angrily stabbed at a piece of meat, shoving it roughly into his mouth and chewing like a heathen. His mood would change every other minute. He would be okay with having broken up, then depressed, then lonely, then he would long for her. It went on in a vicious cycle that was eating him up. But on the outside, he mostly kept up a mask of trying to be strong. His two best friends could tell it was still eating him alive, though.

"Amigo, if you keep eating like that, you're going to choke." Antonio's green eyes looked on Gilbert, full of worry. "Why don't you just go talk to him. I bet it will make you feel better. You can ask him why he did... whatever it was that he did."

Gilbert had refused to tell anyone why they had broken up. As much as he resented the lies, he didn't want her to get in trouble and even telling Francis and Antonio could be risky with the way those two forget to keep their voices down. The part of him that was still in love with... her... wouldn't let him hurt her in that way.

Since the locker room incident, he had avoided her the best he could. Every time he saw her, his heart leapt into his throat and his feet threatened to drag him over to her. There was just something about her that made him want to forgive her, even though she had lied to him. How the hell did she expect to get away with it for so long when they were in a goddamn relationship?! His heart wrenched painfully and he rubbed at his chest, mood turning from sorrow to anger again.

"You need to get laid," Francis continued, looking at his friend's sorry condition. "That will get you back up and running. I know a few girls." The Frenchman winked. "And a few guys too."

"I don't want to fuck a random person!" Gilbert shouted, standing up so fast that his chair toppled over. "I'm done with this conversation, Francis."

"Calm down, mon ami! I will stop. Just sit down. You are causing a scene!"

"No. I need to take a walk."

"I'll come with you!" Antonio chimed in.

"Alone," Gilbert growled, glaring at both of them before walking away without bothering to right his chair.

As soon as he was in the hall, he rubbed at his chest, letting the sadness overcome him again. When the hell was it going to stop?!

The big Russian kid stopped in front of him, smirking. "He really did rip out your heart, hmm Gilbert?" The childish smile stayed on his face as he enjoyed the look of suffering on Gilbert's face.

"No," Gilbert responded simply, wishing nothing more than that the idiot would leave him alone.

"Oh, so you don't want to know any news about him or his current condition?" The smirk widened. He knew that Gilbert wouldn't take this news lightly. He knew that Gilbert needed to know how his ex was doing.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, so you don't know?" Ivan's eyebrow raised.

"No, I don't know. Why don't you enlighten me?"

"For a price."

Gilbert groaned. "What's your goddamn price?"

"You tell me the real reason that you broke up."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I like gossip. So, do we have a deal?"  
>Gilbert hesitated. "Fine. He lied to me. Over vacation, he went home and screwed around with his ex." Gilbert clenched his fists, letting himself feel upset so that it would show on his face and the damn Russian would believe him.<p>

"Oh, you poor thing." The smile curved up again. "Even though he did that to you, you still care that he is so sick that he can't even leave his bed?"

"What? You're lying!"

"Why would I?" The smile left his lips quicker than it had appeared.

"Shit. I have to see him." He tried to push past Ivan, but the man stood his ground.  
>"Oh, Gilbert. You are too hasty. Aren't you forgetting? You're mad at him! Why would you ruin your streak over a little illness?"<p>

"I fucking miss him, okay!? Get the fuck out of my way!" He shoved Ivan hard and tried to run only to be pinned against the wall by his neck, the fingers closing off his windpipe slowly, letting just enough air past to keep him conscious.

"That was a cute little stunt you pulled there. You know I'm not so easily spurned."

"Fuck you," Gilbert gasped out, trying to struggle from the grip. He spat up at Ivan's face.

Eyes narrowing, Ivan wiped off the spit and then pulled back his arm, hand balling into a fist as it made its way for Gilbert's nose, a nice crack coming as it made contact. Blood flowed freely from Gilbert's nose as the hand came away and Ivan looked satisfied.

"What's going on here?" Ludwig had just turned the corner, and looked between the two of them, fury in his eyes.

"Nothing," Ivan said sweetly, releasing Gilbert's throat. His hand left a red print on Gilbert's pale skin and there was blood all over the two of them, more still spouting from Gilbert's nose.

"Bruder, is it true?" He asked as soon as he could get enough air into his lungs.

"Is what true?"

"Are there unicorns in the fucking courtyard? What the fuck do you think I'm asking you?!"

Ivan slipped away while the two were talking, avoiding any consequences that would have come from his actions against Gilbert.

"You still love him? After all that moping, you still love him?"

"Yes! Now is it fucking true?!"

Ludwig frowned and after a moment of hesitation, he replied, "Ja. He hasn't been out of bed for a week."

"Shit. I need to see him."

He took off again, regardless of how winded he was, not giving a single thought to the blood covering his front.

Ludwig was going to tell him to clean up, but he didn't think his brother would listen to sense, so he set about finding Ivan and giving him a nose to match Gilbert's.


End file.
